


Dirt filled heart

by AaviCharlie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-08 06:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13452039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AaviCharlie/pseuds/AaviCharlie
Summary: Mercy, a florist, saves Pharah from a dangerous situation and let's the woman tend to her wounds at her flowershop-home for a while. After that it's surprisingly hard to let go.





	1. Merciful

”I’m very good with flowers, so I might as well be good with you.”

The blonde woman’s remark got the Egyptian woman silent and obedient to the tending touch. Pharah had no idea how she had gotten herself into a situation where a florist would patch her wounds up in a flower shop in the middle of the night during a thunder storm. Or how she was so easily calmed down by a single phrase.  
The blonde looked at the dark haired bruised woman for a short moment before putting ointment to a particularly nasty scrape. Then she let out a soft approving humm with a small hint of amusement. There she was, sitting in her flower shop and trying to make a pretty woman bleed a little less than she was 30 minutes ago.

”Uhm, what is your name... I kind of forgot to ask. I’m Fareeha.”

Pharah’s voice was a bit faint but loud enough for the strange woman to hear it and get her gaze back on her. She smiled calmly and then told her name at the same time as she pulled out a shard of glass from Pharah’s knee.  
”MERCY!” Pharah’s yelp was full of pain. Mercy continued to disinfect the wound in the woman’s belly. ”Yes, that is my name,” she joked to lighten up the mood. She really was sorry that she caused pain to the new acquaintance she had sitting in a chair in the middle of a rug stained with dirt. ”And if you stay still and do not try to talk too much I will be merciful and finish this off.”  
Pharah took a deep breath and closed her eyes, gesturing that she was going to toughen up if Mercy just hurried up. The florist hummed again and rose so that she could see the disturbingly dirty wound on Pharah’s chest.  
”I’m going to need you to remove that thing that used to be a shirt, if you don’t mind,” Mercy voiced the fact slowly and tugged on the stained grey fabric. Pharah was a big sports player. She did not get flustered, never, not happening. At least that’s what she hoped was the deal. Instead she got dragged back to her high school times when she confessed to her first girlfriend. With shaky hands she threw the bloody shirt to the ground and let Mercy continue. The pain was hard to manage but she was the most scared of the needles. Needles in the hands of a florist. Why did a flower shop keeper even have surgical needles and equipment?

”It’s done, you can relax your admirable abs now if you want to.” The remark made Pharah grab her torn shirt from the ground quick. Too quick, because soon she winced from pain and got a soft slap on to her knee. ”Hey! I did an enormous job on those stitches, don’t you dare to open them up. You and me both get the bad end then.”  
Pharah stopped, as if she even could have done the movement again from the sheer agony she was put in. She muttered an apology filled with nausea. That’s when the florist reached to her left, took a bucket and shoved it into the Egyptian's hands like it was something she did every day. And then, finally, Pharah let it all out. Literally.

Pharah woke up in an enormous memory foamed bed with warm orange-black blankets and silver pillowcases. Lot’s of pillows and pillowcases, she thought groggily. Then she let out a confused yelp but couldn’t move a muscle from exhaustion. ”Where am I,” she spoke silently to herself and with hard work got her hand on her belly, which gave a warning sting from the wounds. Pharah winced.  
Pharah could only remember her throwing up from all the stress and pain. Then it all went to black. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. ”That woman,” she mumbled to herself. She could hear someone walking around and other sounds which implicated that someone was in the kitchen.  
It took Pharah at least half an hour before she got herself sitting up in the bed and reaching for the water glass next to it. Water did more good than all the tequilas she had been having lately. The Egyptian rubbed her eyes slowly, just to make sure she was there, alive and relatively well. The ruckus from the kitchen had slowed down and she could hear faint humming of rhymes.  
Pharah realized a bit late that she only had her underwear on. She felt lost, understandably, without her clothes but soon she noticed a green old chair next to the pastel green dresser. On the chair there was a worn but soft red hoodie that fit even her. There were also some baggy grey sweatpants and warm woolen socks. And a note that had petite handwriting.

”Come to the kitchen when you wake up. - Merciful florist,” Pharah exclaimed at the doorway and looked at Mercy, who was making blueberry pancakes calmly, with a warm smile on her face. ”And you came. You could have just ran away from the window and break all your bones.” It made Pharah chuckle. ”Sorry, I was drunk. And in pain. And uh... how did you even get me here?”  
Mercy pointed at a weird art deco chair that was next to a set table. Pharah didn’t mind sitting down, since all parts of her body were hurting like hell. ”I’m a florist, I have muscles too,” Mercy explained and laughed wearily. ”No, to be totally honest with you, you weigh a little bit more than a bag of dirt. But I managed. And now you are patched up, in fresh clothes and soon getting breakfast to ponder this all over with. I can’t let you home yet, not without something to eat and an explanation.”  
Pharah sighed deeply but nodded, honestly grateful for all that Mercy had done for her. So, when she had a plate of syrup coated pancakes with ice cream and a cup of coffee and fresh strawberry juice, she finally opened her mouth.

”I’ll start right from the beginning, maybe that’s the best.”


	2. We meet again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things seems familiar?

”Would it be easier if I asked some questions?” Mercy handled her coffee mug delicately and it made the tremble inside of Pharah a little bit calmer. She hadn’t started her story and the clock kept ticking.  
Mercy cleared her throat from the tar that was coffee. Then she smiled supportingly at the stranger in her kitchen who clearly had a rough time. ”How did you get beat up? I’m not stupid, some of your wounds are from human hands.”  
Pharah stared at her coffee so intimately they could have gotten married right away. Then she gulped down the whole thing like it was a shot. It made her throat have an icky feeling. Then the woman sighed and ruffled her hair. It was painful.  
”It was the usual I guess. I got wicked drunk to... feel something when I was not training. And then I went and pissed off some gang members. And fought like a bull to get something going on.” Pharah sighed again, this time with a saddened tone. Then she peeked a look at Mercy’s face. Her helper must have thought she was insane. Instead the blonde nodded in all seriousness and offered a lavender pastry to the defeated Egyptian.

”And how did you end up together with the glass and near my jogging route?” The question filled the room and resonated with uneasiness. Pharah fiddled for a moment before looking defeatedly at her feet and confessing. ”I... climbed a tree and threw myself at a glass roof of some bus stop. Then I ran to the woods and stumbled around until I practically ran into you.”  
”And there I took you straight to my place and patched you up,” Mercy concluded the whole thing quickly and sighed too. Then she rose a bit to pat Pharah’s knee. ”Maybe the last question,” she purred and the dark haired woman nodded tiredly. She found talking to Mercy very soothing. More soothing than talking to any of her relatives. And her mom was nice. Just very strict. Mercy gave Pharah a little bit of time before voicing her thoughts. ”Why? Why did you drink so much and hurt yourself like that?”  
Pharah was frozen for a moment. She rarely thought about it. No, she thought about it all the time. Every minute of her living being.  
”I think this coffee is really good,” Pharah mumbled with shaky hands. She looked at the empty cup nervously and waited. Finally, after a good minute or two Mercy smiled and nodded sadly, ”it is. I choose the blend very carefully.” Mercy was quiet for a while before she tried to offer her help with changing the bandages. This time Pharah rose on to her feet, wincing from pain as she did so. Then the woman mechanically walked to the sink and washed the cup and her plate. She laughed nervously something about being in hurry.  
Mercy looked at Pharah silently. Then she suddenly took out her cellphone and tried to sound as casual as possible, ”Hey, do you want to get each others contacts? You know, if you need some flowers? I’m even better with them than I was with you.”  
Pharah didn’t decline from the offer, since she really didn’t even want to leave. All she actually wanted was to get back to the soft bed Mercy had and listen to the blonde woman’s voice all day. Mercy had an healing effect on her. So she gave her contact info quickly before running to the stormy day.

”We really shouldn’t see like this,” Mercy mumbled as she tried to help Pharah stay on her feet and not to scrape herself any more. The dark haired beauty groaned quietly and swung a bag at the blonde, accidentally getting them both down to the wet ground. Why did it always have to rain?  
Mercy recovered from the fall and helped Pharah up again, which was hard and worth a reward. ”And what do you have in there Fareeha,” Mercy asked calmly and started to walk towards her shop. ”It’s... your clothes. I had to return them,” Pharah answered with nausea covering all inches of her demeanor.  
”My clothes? And you had to hurt yourself again for that sweetie?” Mercy’s voice was jokeful but also serious. She did want to see Pharah but not in that shape. The Egyptian groaned again and whimpered the pain out slowly. ”No, that... that was other things.” She was so clearly reluctant to tell the truth that Mercy just let it go and sighed heavily. ”Okay, let’s get you in and patched up. It’s gonna hurt a lot less this time if you don’t try to move while I have sharp objects in my hands. But you know that already.” She took a deep breath and started to waddle towards their all familiar destination.

”You did good,” Mercy noted at Pharah who sat in the pastel blue kitchen with weird furniture. The bigger woman nodded absentmindedly and let out a soft groan once again. ”You haven’t been answering my messages either, so I was surprised,” Mercy talked and smiled with no bad mentality towards Pharah who looked like a dog who had done something bad. ”So, do you want your tea without sugar this time too? Or we could have coffee... but it’s quite late if you want to sleep soon.”  
”Without sugar please. A-and I will get out of your way in a mo-” ”No, no and no, you are injured and barely inches away from infection with the previous wounds. You stay. Please. Sleep and clear up your head, why don’t you? You must be drunk again since drove your motorcycle against a tree. You could have been killed.”  
Pharah went quiet. She drunkenly looked at her hands and nodded ashamedly. ”I don’t want to die,” she whispered and made Mercy listen very carefully. ”I just wanted to see you again and wanted to get here quicker after getting some liquid courage. I’m no brave woman. I’m dumb. And drunk. And it was probably illegal.”  
The blonde slender woman stared at Pharah for a long time. Then she took the same cup the muscular woman had the last time and placed it next to her. Then she sighed with warmth, ”I’ll heal you up no matter how many times you crash, don’t worry about it, sweet stranger named Fareeha. I’ll treat you like I treat my flowers.” She paused for a moment before placing her hand on the woman’s head and patted gently. ”I just need you to maybe tell me more after you are sober?” Pharah nodded reluctantly but managed to smile faintly.  
When Mercy walked by Pharah, the bigger woman suddenly grasped the blonde’s hand. The hold was soft and damp and made the pale woman tense up. Then she realized what had happened and she smiled. Pharah took a little time but eventually she spoke, this time more quick and more clearly drunk. ”Where are you going to sleep? I can take the couch or whatever, you don’t need to sleep anywhere weird.”  
Mercy thought about how cute her strong and drunk visitor was. She just wanted to give the woman a hug. ”I don’t have a couch, only armchairs. You do not fit there.” Pharah puffed her cheeks and shook her head. ”Absolutely not! Why not sleep with me... not with me, like that, I mean... on the same bed? Unless I reek too much of alcohol. Or am too unpleasant.”  
Mercy giggled. She giggled wholeheartedly and placed her hand on Pharah’s shoulder. ”Oh dear me... You do not reek now that I have disinfected practically your whole body. And you are not unpleasant at all, quite the opposite. The sweetest drunk I have healed.” She agreed on sleeping on the same bed, since the armchairs were nothing compared to her luxurious bed.

Pharah fell asleep fast. So fast that Mercy didn’t even manage to climb into the bed with her before she already slept soundly. ”Sleep well,” Mercy whispered and turned off the night-lamp. Then she just stared through the ceiling window. Occasionally she also glanced at Pharah and made a small soft chuckle. So weird, she thought to herself. And such a charmer, she continued. Not once did a woman literally crash into her life. Twice.  
Slowly Mercy drifted into peaceful sleep that included some reddening scenes she blamed her too many consecutive years single on. When morning would come, she would need to get more information about Pharah.


	3. Fluttery heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice time, yes?

The morning seemed to repeat itself. Pharah slept in late and Mercy made breakfast. The Egyptian had tea with no sugar, and pancakes, and Mercy had coffee and the same sugary savior. Pharah had a hard time asking questions and Mercy offered to help while the other woman fidgeted with her pancake.  
”How long have you had a problems with alcohol?” Mercy’s question was blunt and she knew it. She lifted her other leg over her knee and tilted her head. Her eyes stared gently at the beautiful, worn young woman. This time she was ready to even deck the athlete down if she tried to escape and get hurt again. Pre-emptive procedure.  
As the question hit Pharah, it made her shiver visibly. At first it looked like she was going to bolt but instead her tired voice escaped her lips, ”For a year now, I think.” Mercy nodded and poured more tea for the Egyptian woman.

”And what happened one year ago, sweet heart?”

Pharah winced and put the cup down so that it wouldn’t break. She was feeling the hangover and the pain of truth beneath it. ”I... started my professional football games. And broke up with my girlfriend,” Pharah whispered with a hoarse voice. Then she continued with a sad laugh, ”it wasn’t the most fulfilling relationship.”  
Mercy closed her eyes for a second to think carefully how to continue. ”I’m sorry,” she told honestly and quickly touched Pharah’s hand. The dark haired woman didn’t mind, just kind of drifted off to staring at nothingness. Mercy tried to steer her back into the real world by continuing her speech. ”Alcohol is a common way to drown feelings. But why did you mention your sports?”  
Pharah tilted her head slowly, so slowly that Mercy was a bit creeped out by the gentle giant. ”Why? Oh, it’s... I am the kind of woman who can’t stop moving. And it’s very competitive. So I...” ”Obsessively exercise,” Mercy continued for Pharah and got a nod. The blonde woman sighed and bit into her pancake.

Mercy let out a small voice that included all her inner frustrations about the situation. Then she fidgeted with her coffee mug. Minutes passed. Pharah seemed really uncomfortable after revealing such painful things about herself. She was also ashamed of her problems.  
”Listen, this is a weird request from a florist who patched you up... but could you please stay with me for a while? Like a sleepover. I can’t trust you with those wounds. And maybe company would do me good too.” Mercy stopped talking just to lock her gaze with Pharah’s. The other woman was seemingly astonished about the request. At first she thought about declining, since she wanted to get back to bad ways of dealing with her feelings. Hesitantly she ended up giving an slightly different answer. ”I guess that wouldn’t hurt. As much as ramming one's bike in to a tree.” Mercy smiled cheerfully.

The day was going to be tough for Mercy. She needed to hurry to her shop downstairs and make a huge order of flower arrangements. Pharah sat behind the register and helped keep the doors open while Mercy was head on into roses and lilies.  
”You work really hard,” Pharah noted when hours had passed. Mercy stopped for a moment and let her tired back rest. ”This shop is my life. I wouldn’t want to lose it,” she smiled as she spoke. The gesture made Pharah feel conflicted, happy feelings.  
The slow day for business left room for chatting. They talked about food, about favorite movies, jogging routes, video games. Suddenly Mercy stopped what she was doing with silver-blue ribbons. She glanced at the clock and let out a sigh of relief. ”We are ready for the day. Finally. Now we can go buy some snacks and watch those action movies you mentioned. And treat your wounds again of course.” Pharah nodded and managed to smile. She admired the work Mercy had done during the hours she had just sat there. Being sober with the blonde really cheered her up.

”Hey, can I ask you a question?” Mercy tilted her head at the question and tightened her grip on the shopping bag. Pharah didn’t take much time before voicing her confusion about the blonde’s remarkable medical skills and tools.  
”I was a doctor student before all this,” Mercy laughed and smirked playfully at her companion. ”And I always have tools for fixing strange women from the woods.” Pharah lifted a brow and laughed too. ”I though I was the only one.” Mercy nodded and whispered, ”and you have been the best of my patients.”

Pharah didn’t quite get Mercy. She was too helpful. And sweet. And she had a good taste in movies. And food. Her taste in interior decoration was weird but still managed to impress Pharah. And there she was, sitting on a big peculiar sofa and enjoying a movie full of female heroines who didn’t lack courage unlike her.  
Mercy took a quick peek at Pharah during the movie. The woman was very content with the action blasted at them. And it was a good thing. Mercy wanted her to be as distracted as possible for as long as possible.  
”We didn’t go get my clothes,” Pharah mentioned when the thing occurred her mind. Mercy nodded quietly. ”You crashed your bike and it’s a holiday, so your bus doesn’t drive the route.” Pharah was baffled. Then she smirked, ”I have no idea how you know my address or the bus I take when I’m not using my bike.” Mercy leaned closer to the other woman and tilted her head, ”would you be ready for the truth sweetheart?”  
Pharah didn’t know what to make with Mercy’s statement. It sounded like flirting. She gulped her embarrassment down her throat before trying to act tough. ”I’m ready for w-whatever... darling.” She looked away. She was not indeed good at flirting. Mercy giggled calmly and leaned even closer. The tension was reaching the roof. She even took a long break and just intensely stared at the nervous wreck that was Pharah.  
”Come closer,” she cooed. Pharah obliged and slowly they were just inches apart. Then Mercy finally revealed the answer. ”You told it to me drunkenly after you woke up in the middle of the night. And invited me to cuddle.”  
Pharah yelped and scrambled further away from Mercy, flustered. She couldn’t deny that happening because it pretty surely did. She hazily remembered the dream like sequence. ”It was rather cute, I didn’t mind,” Mercy commented with a soft voice. ”T-that doesn’t help me at all!”

After a moment of fun, Mercy let Pharah breathe. ”Back to the original topic. You can use my clothes, no worries.” She let out a calm humm and looked at the end credits. ”Do you want to watch another, Fareeha?”  
Pharah’s heart fluttered when Mercy said her name. ”P-pharah is fine too,” she managed to mumble. ”Pharah suits you too,” the smaller woman stated and stretched so that her hand got really close to her temporary bedmate. The Egyptian thought for a moment before touching the hand briefly and smiling, ”maybe we should go to sleep. The bed has our names on it.” Mercy couldn’t agree more.  
It was nice getting into the bed without being wickedly drunk. Pharah just enjoyed the soft surface and the sound Mercy was making in her sleep. The day had been far better than any other days in her life lately. And when she drifted to sleep she didn’t see any nightmares.

The next morning hit Pharah hard. She had the tremors and she was anxious to get a run. She didn’t have the right shoes, which worsened everything to tremendous proportions. Even to that point that she lashed out on Mercy who was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. She regretted it right on that instant though.  
”Sorry, I think I’m just... I need to go, really, before this gets worse,” Pharah muttered quickly and grabbed her jacked from the edge of the chair. Mercy, who didn’t even budge from the outburst, sighed disapprovingly and followed the Egyptian to the door leading to the flower shop.  
”Maybe you should stay a little longer,” she tried but Pharah was adamant in her ways. ”I need to go,” she insisted and shot a pleading look at Mercy, who couldn’t force the athlete to stay. She would have liked to but it would have to be Pharah’s choice to do so.  
”I don’t want to patch you up again. You will come back, won’t you?” Mercy noticed how she sounded almost asking. She admitted that she didn’t like the idea of never seeing Pharah again. The taller woman sighed and smiled a strained smile. ”You don’t have to. And of course I will. I just need to go to my practice and all that. I’ll call you, okay?” She reached her hand to touch Mercy’s shoulder. It was a small gesture of attempted closeness. The blonde woman answered with a touch to the hand on her. She smiled but couldn’t help feeling alone and doubtful when the door closed in front of her.


	4. Sickness inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of a hard journey.

Mercy knew she shouldn’t feel like that. She knew Pharah was just a stranger who happened to share a night with her. A night full of laughter. She looked at her phone again, frustrated. She buried herself tighter to her blue blanket burrito and reached for a another tissue. As if not getting messages from Pharah wasn’t bad enough, she had to get the fiercest flu. First she had been getting some fluids in the hospital and then she was condemned to bed-rest for a week. A week without her flowers. Her old friend promised to come and take care of things downstairs but she didn’t trust the big Russian army woman with delicate flowers.  
It was the third night in the bed reading chick flicks, eating bad takeout and watching bad tv-series. Mercy could feel herself deteriorate into the strawberry red linens. She sent another message, trying to reach for Pharah but this time she didn’t even expect for an answer. She was in no condition to care for the alcoholic disaster. She regretted her thoughts immediately. ”She has her own problems. I can manage waiting a bi-” a doorbell interrupted her mongering.  
Mercy sniffled and waited for a moment. The doorbell rang again. When she was sure she wasn’t hallucinating, she took her robe and started to climb down to her shop and the door. ”If it’s you Pharah I’m going to make you sorry you came,” she mumbled as her body yearned for rest.

Mercy stared at Pharah. She leaned against the door frame and breathed heavily. She lifted her hand and tried to utter words of anger. Instead she whispered a quiet plea, ”don’t you dare to leave me like this... unless you are too drunk to see, I’m damaged and lifeless.”  
Pharah looked at Mercy for a couple more seconds. She was wearing clean jeans, a hoodie and was carrying a sports-bag. And she was sober. Her eyes were filled with sadness and graveness. And when Mercy looked at her, she nodded and lifted the florist to her arms with one swift swing, making the blonde yelp. ”H-hey, I didn’t say you could...” Mercy didn’t finish her words, just pressed her head against Pharah’s chest. And dear, how much she wanted to just stay there.  
Pharah carried Mercy to bed and rose, mumbling awkwardly, at first incoherently. Then the real words came. ”You’re in no condition to be home. Why didn’t you call anyone?”  
Mercy coughed and looked at Pharah with a small hint of humor, ”if you haven’t checked your messages and voice mails, that’s not my problem. But according to you being here you have.” The dark haired athlete seemed genuinely resentful. ”I came now, late but still... why didn’t you call anyone you are more close to?” Mercy groaned quietly and buried under her blankets. ”Because I felt like I wanted your company. We had fun. I wan’t that again,” she whispered weakly. The room was dimly lit so it was hard to see. Pharah wasn’t quite sure but she assumed Mercy was or had been crying. And it didn’t make her feel any better. And she didn’t even want to.  
”If you let me stay here with you, I’d like to take care of you until you are better.” Pharah’s movements were very limited. She was stiff and awkward. Mercy noted all that and smiled faintly as she recognized how much they were both hurting. ”It’s funny,” she mumbled feverishly, and finally Pharah sat on the edge of the bed. ”What is?” Pharah asked quietly, placing her hand on the soft bed. ”We were strangers just under two weeks ago. Now I’m here, annoyed at you and thankful that you came here,” Mercy replied slowly.  
Pharah hesitated with her answer. She wasn’t sure if she was even supposed to do that. But something inside made her put her hand even closer, inches away from the burning up blonde. ”I read every single message you send me. I wanted to be sober when I came here. And now you need me more than I need you.”

Pharah wasn’t the best as cooking but her food was still better than bad takeout. She managed to get Mercy a good amount of chicken soup that was filling and light. She even did the dishes after they had eaten. She came back to Mercy with a black box that made the blonde one tilt her head at. ”What is that? Did you carry that in your bag?” Pharah nodded and smiled almost shyly. Then she opened the box and revealed an old console.  
”I thought we could maybe play some games when you can,” Pharah explained quickly, as if Mercy was going to interrupt at any minute and laugh her out. Instead the sick woman smiled warmly. ”I love the idea.” Pharah felt a little bit better about the situation. She just wanted to make things right.

Mercy was too weak to leave the bed but Pharah stayed there with her. They played cards and talked, this time even going a bit to the personal questions. There was tension but neither of them wanted to acknowledge it at that moment. It was too precious.

Pharah laid under the covers next to Mercy. They weren’t sleeping, she knew that. Mercy sounded like she was in too much pain just breathing. It took a while but Pharah couldn’t resist the urges anymore. She turned on to her side and stroke Mercy’s hair lightly. ”Are you asleep,” she asked waitingly.  
Mercy opened her eyes slowly and turned to her side too, enjoying the touch she was receiving. ”No,” she answered and asked why at the same go. Pharah seemed bothered but managed to voice herself. ”Can I ask you a more sensitive question? I promise to answer yours in exchange.”  
Mercy blinked quickly and made a sound to indicate it was okay. Pharah was still keeping her hand near the woman’s head and the blonde could feel the warmth of her hand.

”Why did you say you are damaged and lifeless? They were odd words if you were talking about the flu.”

Mercy didn’t change. She just stared in the darkness. Then she slowly reached out her hand to place on Pharah’s cheek. The bigger woman reacted with stiffness at first but soon melted to the touch. The florist clearly tried to gather her feverish thoughts so she gave her time.  
”You have your problems, Pharah. Mine are already past me, but still there. Loneliness is the worst. Losing loved ones is the second.” Mercy’s voice cracked a bit towards the end. She caressed Pharah’s face with her thumb and continued before the other woman could speak. ”So I am damaged and lifeless right now. And you have a very soft face.”  
Pharah got flustered. She slowly allowed herself to feel Mercy’s hair more. ”Do you want me to explain why I haven’t been answering to your messages?” The blonde shook her head and suddenly moved against Pharah. Her feverish body was burning up. ”Let’s do it like we always do... at the breakfast table.” Pharah let out a small laugh and tried to figure out what to do with Mercy against her.  
Pharah made sure to cover them both with blankets, even though she was feeling hot with the living radiator against her. She even petted Mercy’s hair until she fell asleep. After that she stayed awake for a while to think about the mess she was in. She was starting to get attached. And it never meant anything good in her life. But Mercy was soft, breathing against her dark skin. She was beautiful, Pharah thought as she looked at the smaller woman. She was kind and patient. The Egyptian felt her heart ache once again when thinking about the facts.

Before Mercy had fallen asleep she had scolded herself for getting so close to Pharah. She was just so lonely. And damaged. And lifeless. The cold really was just an excuse. All the other times she was the more assertive one. Now she knew she could be a bit less that. At least for the duration of her sickness. After that she would gladly take her usual demeanor back.  
As Mercy drifted to sleep she could only think about Pharah caressing her tired body. Hair, actually, but it was a part of her body.

Pharah and Mercy both were reluctant to let go of that sickness.


	5. Decissio

Once again the morning shined it’s light and life to the apartment. This time Mercy wasn’t in any condition to make breakfast. She barely even got awake at the same time as Pharah. The dark haired woman chuckled lightly and felt Mercy’s forehead just to make sure about her next move. Slowly she lifted the sleepy woman on to her arms and made her way to the kitchen.  
”Wake up,” Pharah whispered gently as she placed the smaller woman on the odd chair. Mercy whimpered slightly and buried deeper down to her blanket. Then she opened her eyes and groaned. ”I just fell asleep,” she complained with a strained voice, her eyes puffy and red, her red cheeks radiating heat. ”You need to eat something,” Pharah insisted and couldn’t help but smile at the conversation. She liked how Mercy got so much more whinier when sick.  
Pharah got around on making porridge with lot’s of honey and strawberries. And a big glass of orange juice, served in a half a liter lilac cup. She placed the servings at the table slowly because she had drifted to staring at the half asleep Mercy. She could feel her own heart beat. And the waves of sadness were also trying to drown her relentlessly.  
”I demand you to wake up again,” Pharah laughed softly and enjoyed the moments before the conversation. Mercy didn’t open her eyes but a small smile made it’s way to her lips. Then she spoke, ”what if I don’t want to.” ”Then I’ll have to force you,” Pharah answered quickly, no mercy.  
”Oh, so you’ll feed me?” Mercy replied with a smirk and opened her other eye to peek at Pharah. The Egyptian got stiff. Then she burrowed her fingers on to her hair and took a deep breath.

”Are you flirting with me?” Pharah’s voice wasn’t serious but it wasn’t pleased either. Mercy reacted to the words slightly with opening both of her eyes and taking a better posture. Now they both were all woken up.  
”Yes, I am. Don’t you like it?” Mercy feared for the answer. She feared that she would get herself even more hurt than she was already. Pharah on the other hand didn’t like that she was in that situation.  
”No.. I mean, no, of course I like it! That’s not the point. You are older than me, don’t you need a bit more mature one in your life? And I’m not exactly the perfect girlfriend material.” Pharah had talked fast and feared Mercy wouldn’t have caught even a little bit of her sentences. Instead the woman smiled faintly, trying to smirk. ”You are just making up excuses Pharah.”  
Pharah knew the fact quite well. She was scared of getting too close with the beautiful florist. ”I know,” she sighed and continued, ”do YOU think it would be a good thing?” Mercy lifted a brow and wearily reached for Pharah’s hand. ”I think it depends on how you are letting things go, sweetie. On many aspects.” She pressed her forehead on the table’s cold surface and smiled when she felt a squeeze on her hand.  
Pharah sighed deeply. She was lost but Mercy gave some light to the situation. And there she made a decision. ”So... if I would let myself get drawn even more to you, how would that affect my... problematic lifestyles?”  
Mercy let the table ease her hot head for a while. She acknowledged what Pharah had said but didn’t answer before she knew her words wouldn’t be slurred.

”I can’t force you into recovery on any of your problems, Pharah. But I can offer help when you need it. You know yourself that you are to lose everything if you continue.” Mercy had lifted herself back into a proper position. She stared at Pharah gently, gently caressing the woman’s hand with her fingers. The tension was electric, reaching all the way to the dark ceiling. They both knew the answer and reaction were important.  
Mercy’s harder stare softened straight away when she noticed a swift change with Pharah. As if a weight had been lifted from the bigger woman’s shoulders. ”I can’t promise I can change in one night,” she stated. Mercy didn’t need that. ”I... need time to think what I do on the exercise,” the Egyptian continued. Mercy understood. ”I... I think I need help with my alcohol problem, Mercy,” Pharah confessed. The blonde woman smiled as widely and softly as she could. ”If I could stand up you would be getting a warm hug,” she told the flustered giant.

”Your habit of not answering messages,” Mercy started while Pharah was carrying her back to bed. ”Is because I’m drunk or hangover so often and you deserve better,” the athlete admitted with shame showing in her eyes. The blonde nodded and closed her eyes. ”It’s okay,” she mumbled and caressed Pharah’s shoulder. ”You are a strong woman, and I don’t mean your muscles.”

The day had Pharah feeling torn. She had been sober far more than the usual. She had been out of practice for so long that the withdrawals were already peeking out. But being with Mercy was soothing. She managed to plug in the console and the blonde was feeling decent enough after sleeping a few hours so they were able to play some scifi fantasy RPG games.  
”You chose a healer again,” Pharah laughed and Mercy nodded seriously. ”Always. I once tried a more aggressive tactic but it didn’t work out. I was fierce, though.” She waved the controller at Pharah. ”You play warriors or other offense stuff,” she noted and paused the game to grab a tissue. There were so many of them it felt like they were swimming in them. Pharah chuckled and shrugged. ”Yeah, what else? We truly suit our roles.”  
Pharah found out that Mercy did not allow backseat gaming at all, even though she was sick. After the dark haired woman once again tried to steer the wheel, she suddenly found herself under the smaller woman. Mercy breathed heavily but managed to smirk gently. ”I do not need you to tell how to defeat the Elven dragon. I know how to do it, trust me. Maybe you should just be cuddling me while I show you how to do the combo?”  
Pharah could feel Mercy on top of her too clearly. It was mesmerizing. She looked at the woman and opened her mouth but no words came out at first. Then she closed it and tried again, stumbling on her words on the way. ”Y-you want me to hold you?” That was definitely more flirting, Pharah thought to herself. And she couldn’t resist.

”You smell nice,” Pharah mumbled obediently as she gently pressed her nose against Mercy’s neck and watched as the woman rocked the map. ”I smell like sweat sweetie, but thanks. I should take a shower soon,” Mercy mumbled under her breath as the dragon tried to eat her character. Pharah still meant what she had said. There was a sweet hint of flowers.

”Are you sure you can do it by yourself?” Pharah managed to mumble as she looked at the weak Mercy who barely could stand for one minute. The blonde shook her head and groaned, ”unless you join me I’m not going to get anything productive done.” It was not a tone of flirting but she had a soft smile on her face. A smile that made Pharah feel a bit better. But also to get embarrassed. And now she had to answer to Mercy, on top of all.  
”I mean... I c-could come help you, if that is okay with you,” Pharah stuttered and kept her hands around Mercy. She was sweaty too, after being under the blankets so long, next to a human radiator. A shower wouldn’t hurt?

Pharah tried not to look at the goddess that was Mercy. Even while sick she managed to look just like the statues. Mercy on the other hand admired Pharah while trying to stay on her feet. After they both got undressed the stronger woman helped Mercy to the shower and soon soothing warm water made the air steamy.  
Pharah scrubbed Mercy’s back gently and kept making sure the woman could stand up. And when she was getting dizzy, Pharah lifted her up and let the florist continue the cleaning. The intimacy was something she hadn’t experienced often.  
When Mercy got tired she pressed her head onto Pharah’s shoulder. ”The water feels good... you feel good,” Mercy mumbled and smiled warmly. ”I could feel asleep again,” she continued and closed her eyes but Pharah nudged the woman gently. ”Don’t sleep yet, we need to make sure to get you dry and burritoed soon enough.”

Pharah wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be worried about Mercy. She kept asking about it and it seemed like the woman didn’t seem to think her flu anything to think about. Pharah laid there, on the soft bed, Mercy on top of her sleeping and breathing badly. She had been trying to read but it was hard it one arm and a very cuddly sleeper. And she was constantly worrying.

I think I’m getting a crush on her, Pharah though to herself while giving a small kiss on to Mercy’s forehead.


	6. Almost there

The next morning Pharah woke up, she could see things had gone for the worse. Mercy was barely breathing and was burning up even more. The bigger woman got worried when her bedmate didn’t answer her at first. Then she heard a huff and a whisper, strained and barely coherent. ”I-I’m fine.” ”Like the hell you are Mercy! I’m taking you to the hospital right this instant.”  
Mercy winced and pressed against Pharah like her life depended on it. ”I don’t want to go,” she insisted weakly and coughed her lungs out. Everything was dizzy and moving hurt more than it should have. Pharah bit her lip and shook her head adamantly. ”I do not frankly care about that, you are a former med student, you should know better.” She rose from the bed and wrapped Mercy tightly into blankets while she gathered some stuff for the trip.  
”You will slip if I let go,” Mercy pleaded suddenly, fever riddling inside of her. Pharah stopped for a moment and cursed herself down to the lowest holes on Earth. She managed to straighten her back and toss the bag she had been filling on to the bed. ”My condition is not yours to carry,” she told bluntly but softened a bit. ”If I slip then that happens. I will get back. I can’t depend on you to heal me, Mercy. You know it doesn’t work like that.”  
Pharah noticed soon that Mercy was almost as stubborn as she was. It was almost impossible to get the blonde to the hospital without using her muscles. The florist was weak but annoyingly slippery with her bed ridden self.

Pharah knew Mercy was worrying. She knew she was bad at taking care of herself and that’s why she’d rather care for others. Pharah and Mercy were the same in that manner.

It felt like their bond had tightened but at the same time Pharah felt cold clutches all around her, tightening and seeping the life out of her now that they were out of the apartment. It was almost unbearable.  
As soon as Pharah got Mercy in to the ER and got told to wait for an hour or two at least, she left for a run. And she ran as fast and hard as she could, until she found herself in the nearby forest gasping for air, her muscles screaming for rest. It didn’t make her feel any better. In fact, she was now aching to go back to see how the florist was doing. Her worry outruled her need to exercise. She also wanted to show Mercy that she wouldn’t disappear that easily. Not now, she thought to herself in agony.  
Pharah jogged back much more leisurely, her mind stuck at the thought of weakened Mercy barely breathing. She had been seeing nightmares about it too. A crush, Pharah repeated to herself and rubbed the tattoo under her eye. What ever it was, she decided to help Mercy first. Who knew, maybe the florist was just flirty when feverish and in need of help.

Pharah got back in and had to wait an hour. The hour turned into another, and another. After four long and frustrating ones she was finally seen by a doctor. ”Miss Ziegler asked to come and get you, Miss Amari,” the man replied to when Pharah asked about the florist. Not getting answers right away was frustrating.  
The corridors were clean and smelled odd. Pharah didn’t like hospitals, and from the look of it, neither did Mercy. She was miserable in the hospital gown and IV’s giving her fluids and medication. Mercy glanced thankfully at Pharah and tried to lift herself up to sit but got a scolding look from the doctor.  
”Miss Ziegler has pneumonia. That’s whats causing the fever and weakness. She needs to be admitted and monitored until the medication starts to kick in.” The doctor smiled politely and Pharah nodded shortly. She looked at Mercy, who groaned quietly at the obvious fact that she was in no condition to suffer at home. ”Can’t I just get my meds at home?” The answer was a strict no. ”Not until the fever has come down I’m afraid,” the doctor replied.  
”So you need to stay,” Pharah stated and sighed as she sat on the edge of Mercy’s bed. She hesitated for a moment but ended up taking the blonde’s hand on her own. ”Will you visit me,” Mercy asked quietly and squeezed on the hand. This time Pharah knew she better live up to her words.  
”I will. I can promise that, just... nothing else. Are you content with that?” Pharah asked with a hint of worry. Mercy laughed weakly and swiped a persistent golden lock to the side. ”I’m happy with just seeing you.” The doctor looked like it was time to move Mercy, so Pharah let go of the smaller hand reluctantly and waved goodbye.

Pharah was drunk. It was obvious. Hangover borderline drunk, she thought to herself as she approached the hospital doors. She knew Mercy had said it was okay just seeing her but maybe it wasn’t the best idea still. The Egyptian took a deep breath. Usually she did take weeks off from drinking but even the slightest of stress made her relapse faster than she could spell it.  
Mercy looked a bit better. She had some color on her face and didn’t cough her lungs out when Pharah saw her. The taller woman placed a little box of chocolate on the table and sat on the stoic chair quietly. Her slurred words were to be kept inside of her mouth, she thought. Mercy smiled calmly and offered her hand.  
”I know you’re probably hangover. Or even drunk. Were you safe?” Pharah felt like she didn’t deserve the sweetness of Mercy. She nodded slightly and lifted her foggy gaze towards the blonde. ”I drank at home until I passed out and woke up some time ago,” she replied and contemplated on the hand. Then she carefully touched it, just enough to feel the warmth.  
”I have a friend who you could talk to, if you want to. He runs an AA group close by,” Mercy explained as she wiggled her way closer to the big athlete. Pharah wasn’t quite sure what to do, so she just sat there like a statue. ”I don’t know, maybe it could be useful.”

”When I get out of here, do you want to come to my place again for a while?” Mercy’s voice was filled with hope. As she spoke her hand wandered to Pharah’s knee and stroked it affectionately. The Egyptian shivered from embarrassment and could only nod in silence.  
”How are you feeling?” Pharah managed to finally ask, her voice filled with worry. Even though Mercy looked like she was doing fine, she didn’t trust the ex-med student on that. The blonde shrugged and let out a big huff. ”The fever has gone down a bit but I still need to be here for another day at least. I can’t sleep here. I’d much rather have you next to me.”  
Pharah was caught of guard. She let out a small voice that made Mercy smirk gently. ”H-happy to hear that,” the drunken dark hair mumbled. On other moments she was all about the flirting and romantic hints but on other times it was all about shyness and cluelessness.

When Mercy finally got discharged from the hospital, she was in a much better condition and eager to get back to the shop. ”You were told to rest a week still,” Pharah reminded the woman as she carried her bag with one hand, takeaway on other. ”Zarya can take care of the shop for that time,” she reminded the persistent blonde and tried to cope with her rising migraine.  
”Zarya doesn’t even know the difference between a daffodil and a marigold. How can I trust her with my shop?” To make sure Pharah wouldn’t let Mercy to the shop, she coughed heavily and winced from pain. The athlete sighed and shook her head while smiling. ”Even if I was drunk I wouldn’t let you have your way.”  
Mercy argued the whole trip with Pharah but neither of them minded that. They enjoyed the company and the fact that the florist was back on her feet.

When the two of them got back to Mercy’s apartment, the blonde was surprised to find the entire place cleaned. Pharah was surprised to find the woman against her, hugging her gently. It was hard to focus with slender hands on her hips. She gulped and hugged Mercy back, stroking the blonde hair and the smooth fabric of the shirt’s back. ”I thought we wouldn’t want to clean up right after you came home,” Pharah explained and Mercy couldn’t agree more. She also didn’t want to let go. Slowly she pressed her head against Pharah’s neck and had her lips meet the sensitive surface.  
Pharah shivered from the sensation. She bit her lip and let herself enjoy it for a while longer. She could feel her heart beat faster and her hands wander on the blonde woman’s back more. Mercy parted from the skin slightly to look deeply into Pharah’s eyes. The moment seemed to last for an eternity. The Egyptian leaned towards the florist, getting closer and closer. They could feel each other’s breath. The sweet scent of Mercy’s lip gloss stuck to Pharah’s memory. The athlete pulled the blonde carefully closer.

The ring of a phone made them both startle and withdraw. Pharah started to hastily rummage through her bag and swore under her breath. Mercy fell to the chair, baffled and disappointed. The dark haired woman grabbed her cellphone with such force it surprised herself. Her voice was filled with deep aching frustration.

”Yes? Mom?”


	7. Progress

Mercy and Pharah both knew by the moment the phone call was over. They almost kissed but didn’t because of the interruption. The blonde cleared her throat and smiled warmly at the dark haired beauty. ”Was it something important?” Pharah shook her head at Mercy’s question, sighing and eyeing the other woman quietly. Now that the moment was gone she had no more courage to act on her desires.  
”Could I get the person’s number... you know, the AA one...” Pharah rubbed her neck and looked like she was in immense pain from the decision she just made. Mercy’s gaze turned into a proud gentle one and she nodded slowly. ”Of course,” she said and lifted her hand to touch Pharah’s. This time the bigger woman took the hand and leaned in to give it a small kiss while caressing the fingers. She was exhausted, full of doubt about herself, yet still she had hope inside of her. Lingering warmly like a small campfire.

Mercy slept through the first day, her body trying to gather all the energy it could get to overcome the sickness. Pharah made sure the woman had fluids and food, company and occasional warmth from closeness. Every time the two of them got closer if felt like there was a small tension dancing between them, not going away even if they wanted.

The night was restless. Mercy couldn’t sleep from all the coughing and sniffling. Pharah on the other hand had too many things on her mind, too many solutions to find and too many questions to be asked. They both gave up on trying for the night and watched some silly movies together, Pharah keeping the florist close to herself every moment.  
As Pharah was holding Mercy on her lap and running her fingers through her hair, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would it have been like if she had kissed the woman. She felt flustered by the thought but it rummaged through her head again and again. The athlete had no idea how to come around the topic. Could she just ask?  
Mercy noticed Pharah’s tension but didn’t mention anything. She just pressed against the strong body and wondered if she should have taken the lead. A phone call. A mere phone call came in between. And Mercy wasn’t a shy one unlike Pharah, she could have easily taken the first step. Something inside of her made it harder. Was she scared? After all the years she had spent on getting over her past?  
Slowly Mercy lifted herself a little so that she could take a better position. Now she was able to see Pharah’s face and lay her head against her shoulder. She knew she needed to ask the question to relieve the pain in her heart. It took a few wheezy breaths before she could open her mouth.

”Pharah? Will yo-” ”Will you go out on a date with me, Mercy?” Pharah had been so deep into her thoughts that she didn’t even hear Mercy talking before blurting out her own words. The big, flustered mess stared at the florist as her hands shakily brushed the blonde’s back. Mercy was speechless for a good moment. Her feverish mind tried to compose a sentence out of the words she just heard.  
”A-a date,” Mercy managed to stumble on every step. She was so close to Pharah it made her feel warm and safe but also many emotions she thought she had already forgotten. Slowly the confusion slipped from her mind and she smiled softly. ”I would love to,” she whispered and pressed her head against Pharah’s neck. The athlete shivered from the contact and wrapped her hands around the smaller woman gently.  
”Y-you know that I meant a real, romantic type of date?” Pharah asked after they both had fallen into sleepy cuddling again. Neither of them knew what was happening in the movie they were watching. Mercy chuckled and nodded, not giving Pharah her hand back. ”Of course silly,” she mumbled and gave the fingertips quick kisses.  
”But you need to be a little more healthy. I do not want to have a date here. I want to go out,” Pharah specified and looked at Mercy with a hint of worry dancing on her face. What if the florist wouldn’t like her idea of a date? The blonde was drifting to sleep but managed to sharpen up when she heard Pharah talking. She groaned quietly and curled up against the dark haired beauty. ”Then I wish I will heal up immediately.”

Mercy didn’t get healthy immeaditely but progress was made. Her fever finally left the house but the annoying cough and sniffles stayed with the blonde. Pharah tried to stay in the house as often as she could but her time was consumed by football. After couple of days there was also AA, as Mercy gave the woman the number for it.  
After two weeks Mercy was in a decent enough condition to finally say she was okay. Pharah came back to her late that evening, straight from the meeting. She put down groceries in the kitchen and sighed deeply, seemingly bothered by something. Mercy noticed it straight away and tilted her head while holding her favorite coffee mug.  
”What's wrong Pharah?” Mercy asked calmly and rose to help with putting things in the fridge. They worked together like they would have been living like that for years. Pharah let out another sigh and reached to put the flour in it’s place. ”I got a sponsor today,” she mumbled and sat down. She stared at Mercy to see her reaction. The blonde stopped what she was doing and smiled warmly, clearly happy to hear the news.  
”You did? That’s wonderful! Why do you sound like it’s a bad thing?” Mercy decided it was best to sit down to talk. She took a chair close to Pharah and stroked the Egyptian’s knee. The woman didn’t quite know how to respond to the florist but she tried. ”It’s not a bad thing. Tor seems like a nice man, really... I’m just afraid that I will mess things up and let you and him down.”  
Mercy stared at Pharah. She wish she knew how the other woman was feeling but she had never overcome an addiction. But she surely knew how it was to fear for failure. Slowly she took Pharah’s hand and planted small kisses on the skin. ”Even if you take a step back I am proud of you. You are strong, beautiful and I’m sure you will succeed,” Mercy’s words were genuine and she said them with a comforting tone.  
Pharah didn’t know what to say. She just enjoyed Mercy’s soft touch and words, suddenly wanting more of all that closeness. After two weeks of cuddling but not really adding too much romantic juice to the gestures made her anxious. And the more anxious she got the more she feared she would fail. But Mercy was there, making her feel better.

”I-I would like to take you on a date today,” Pharah yelped, too quickly and too awkwardly for her likings, and straight after the announcement of her being afraid. Mercy still had her damn lips on her hands, for gods’ sake, Pharah thought to herself hastily. She could feel her face burning.  
Mercy lifted her confused gaze to meet Pharah’s fidgeting self. ”Today?” She asked and the athlete nodded quickly. ”T-today, I would very much like it today,” Pharah stuttered. Mercy tilted her head slowly and it looked like she was giving it a thought. In reality she was just too happy to even process the whole thing.  
Finally Mercy smiled widely and gave her yes. ”I just don’t think anything is open at this hour,” she pondered out loud. Pharah managed to get her heart back in it’s place and hurried to explain herself. ”No, I thought about a walk in the forest. You know, there is a pond that is lit beautifully. Lots of flowers too. I can take you somewhere else when we go on other dates.”  
Mercy grinned playfully and lifted a brow, ”on other dates, huh?” Pharah shivered and let out a small voice of flusteration. ”Mh, I do like to think of us going on many dates indeed,” the florist continued her teasing and got a pout from Pharah. ”I can go to the date by myself, thank you very much miss florist...”

Mercy was quick to grab Pharah’s hand and to not let go.


	8. Pond date

”How come I’ve never come to this part of the forest, huh?” Mercy wondered out loud and grabbed Pharah’s hand to not get lost in the dark woods. ”Maybe because this is off limits unless you want to risk getting lost,” Pharah mumbled and thanked the gods’ that the florist couldn’t see her flusteration. Mercy chuckled and squeezed the strong, soft hand on hers, ”I didn’t know you could navigate here. It’s not even close to your home, I mean.”   
Pharah lifted a brow and stopped, resting her other foot on a tree root. She tilted her head and scratched the back of it with her free hand. ”Well, I got lost here, when I was drunk. Twice. Had to find my way to your place and all that hassle.” She smiled embarrassed and glanced at Mercy, who smirked playfully. ”You are not really convincing me that we aren’t going to get lost today,” the blonde laughed and stepped closer to Pharah to give her a brief embrace. She did trust the tall woman with her whole heart, even if it would be in vain. 

After a long journey of chatting and holding hands, they finally arrived at a large pond with lots of water lilies. Soft green and grey moss covered the ground and the trees had beard lichen all over them. It was clearly once been used as a romantic meetup place. There was a old bench that nature had won over and stone ornaments that could hold lanterns.   
Pharah took simple lanterns from her pack and Mercy held the flashlight as she went to put them in place and lit them. The dim lightning was just enough for them to sit and watch the water without any extra source of light. 

Suddenly Pharah felt nervous as she sat down and Mercy accompanied her. The chatting had been casual and warm the whole walk there but now that they were on their destination... on a date. The magical moment when everything turned awkward.   
Mercy glanced at Pharah and chuckled silently. The other woman was cute when she tried to take the lead, and the florist did appreciate the effort. But the Egyptian was in the end, much more inexperienced and much more shy. Mercy leaned slowly against Pharah, taking her time and enjoying the view and the warmth of her date.   
”I’m proud of you,” Mercy purred calmly and intertwined her fingers with Pharah’s. The dark haired woman shivered and looked at Mercy, embarrassed of the compliment. ”Y-you are?” She asked quietly and used her free hand to brush the blonde hair gently. She was feeling more alive than she had been in years. The warm feeling inside her radiated all across her body even though it was cold outside.   
”Yes. You have done so well, and so much, in such a short time,” Mercy continued and locked eyes with Pharah. ”And I appreciate all the help you give to me,” she continued softly, faintly like she would be afraid to say the thing. She wasn’t quite sure if the topic was proper for a date but it seemed to fit the mood.   
”Help I have given?” Pharah asked quietly and tilted her head in confusion. Was Mercy talking about the period of time she was sick? She waited patiently for the florist to explain, wrapping her arm around the woman. ”Yes... groceries, cleaning, getting me up the bed with your calls, making sure that I shower...” Mercy mumbled and let out a soft laugh, ”and the time I got reckless with my pneumonia, of course.”   
Pharah chuckled lovingly and nodded. ”You are talking about your depression, aren’t you,” she asked gently an got an approving humm. ”The only thing I need to work more is to get you to take your medicine. For an ex-med student you sure are stubborn,” Pharah continued her thoughts and looked at Mercy to make sure she didn’t take offense. The blonde smiled and couldn’t agree more. ”Stubborn, but pretty,” Mercy joked. Pharah lifted a brow and gathered up some courage. ”I think pretty is an understatement, Mercy...” 

Mercy felt a fuzzy feeling inside her. She decided it was time to stop keeping Pharah waiting. And this time she had made sure that they both had cellphones on silent.   
Mercy turned a little bit so that she faced Pharah. The taller woman got flustered right away and turned her gaze to intensely stare at the pond and the flickering fire. Mercy couldn’t help but giggle from the gesture, since it was very adorable. The older woman reached to brush the cheek of her date, her touch tender and soft. She could feel how embarrassed Pharah was... and to be honest, she was nervous herself, in a good way.   
”Pharah, kissing you would be easier if you’d look at your girlfriend,” Mercy stated and got a small yelp from Pharah. The Egyptian turned her head towards Mercy, her eyes filled with admiration. ”D-did you just...” ”Yes,” Mercy interrupted and pulled Pharah closer to her. So close, that she could press her slightly cold but very soft lips against the darker ones. 

Pharah could taste Mercy’s lip gloss. It was the same that she was wondering the taste of weeks ago. She could feel the florist’s soft body against her, hands wrapped behind her neck, lips slightly brushing against hers. Pharah closed her eyes and let the kiss deepen. She took her wandering hands to Mercy’s hips and pulled the woman closer if that was even possible. And how she loved the sensations, the warmth, and how time seemed to stop on it’s tracks just for them.   
Mercy had seen many kisses in her life but Pharah was special, no matter how corny it sounded like. The blonde tried to keep her pent up frustrations in bay and the kiss very tender and slow. She knew she had time to kiss Pharah as many times as she wanted in the future. Or at least that’s what she wished for. 

After the two of them needed air more than they needed to kiss, they parted and there was a moment of silence between them. Pharah stared at Mercy with wide eyes and the florist answered with a soft gaze. ”Pharah,” she started and the flabbergasted woman could only move her head to indicate she was indeed listening and not just staring at the goddess in front of her. ”Would you... like to be my girlfriend? For real, I mean... This is quick and all and I know we have lots of pro-” ”Yes,” it was Pharah’s turn to interrupt. She took Mercy’s hand and gave it a gentle kiss.   
”You already said I was your girlfriend, didn’t you,” Pharah laughed and Mercy blushed as she admittedly forgot because of the kiss. ”Yes... I just wanted to be sure,” the florist mumbled and chuckled softly.   
Pharah tilted her head and brushed Mercy’s lips with her thumb. ”Remember when you said you’d handle me like your flowers? I don’t know what you do with flora but please, could you keep it only between us... I don’t want to get jealous of daffodils and lilies,” the Egyptian joked and leaned in to give a small kiss onto Mercy’s cheek. The florist laughed and dodged the kiss while teasing her girlfriend playfully, ”well I don’t know about that darling, those daffodils are quite flirts...” 

The date ended on such a good note that it felt unbelievable. They ended up chatting near the pond for so long that the cold wind reached their souls and forced them to return the long journey back to Mercy’s place. Pharah was very glad that their first kiss had gone so well, and Mercy couldn’t be happier. The thought of them being a couple made then all giddy but also healthily nervous. It had been some time since their last healthy relationships. 

Pharah decided to stay the night, even though she hadn’t been doing it the days she had practice the next morning. She told Mercy it was because she usually got nervous, anxious and irritated the closer she was getting to exercising. She didn’t want to stay that night at first either but Mercy insisted softly.   
”I can handle you, even if you get a bit grumpy,” Mercy sighed calmly and caressed Pharah’s bare back after their shower. ”I’m not only a bit grumpy, but if you are sure Mercy,” the dark haired athlete mumbled and turned to kiss the florist briefly. And when Mercy was sure, Pharah’s anxiety eased up so that she managed to stay. 

”I wouldn’t want to pass sleeping with you,” Pharah muttered sleepily when they finally got under the cozy duvets. Mercy grinned and pressed against the strong woman, nuzzling the sensitive neck gently. ”Ohh, you think you have energy for that kind of thing,” she teased, as tired as her girlfriend. Pharah got flustered for a brief moment before smirking herself, ”I’m a strong woman...”   
Mercy pressed closer against the athlete and planted a kiss on her jaw line, then neck and finally on her collarbone. Her touch was careful, almost fleeting, and filled with delicate emotions. She smiled when she felt the woman under her purr sleepily. ”I bet I can sleep better than you,” the florist yawned and curled up against. ”No, I will win this one,” Pharah mumbled almost incoherently and brushed Mercy’s hair one more time before letting the sleep seduce them both. 

The next morning would be testing them both.


	9. Primary emotion

Pharah had left the bed by the time Mercy woke up. It wasn’t something that the florist hadn’t expected but it was still a weird feeling to be alone again. She stretched her sore body and looked around for a note. When she didn’t find any, a glimmer of disappointment rushed through her. Then she took out her cellphone and found out a message.   
Mercy knew that Pharah probably wouldn’t answer if she was to call but she wanted to try still. She knew that the obsessively moving Pharah was not the thoughtful one. She pressed the green dial and waited. 

”Mercy?”   
”Pharah? Oh, you answered. I was just... wondering if you will come back here after your routine? So I know to prepare the food.”   
”Y-yeah, I will. I’ll come after I’m done here, okay? And... Mercy?”   
”Hm?”   
”Sorry for leaving without saying anything...”   
”It’s okay... I understand. Just... be safe, okay?” 

Mercy looked at her phone. Pharah had cut the call before answering. The florist sighed and couldn’t get rid of the worry inside of her. The younger woman had sounded agitated and energetic at the same time. Mercy brushed her blonde hair and decided it was time to keep her shop alive and not to worry about her new girlfriend. It was much harder than she had hoped. 

When Pharah got back, the sun had already started to set and the whole house smelled like fresh soil and flowers. Mercy was in the kitchen, moving plants from pots to another. Her hands were bare and stained with the rich dirt. She had a big white t-shirt on with red shorts and they had seen the earthy substance too. When Mercy noticed Pharah, she smiled warmly and nudged at the chair, ”please sit, I’ll make tea soon. How was your practice, love?”   
Pharah was feeling her own pulse way too well. She glanced at the soil, at Mercy and at the flowers before shaking her head. ”No, I’d rather stay up. I was thinking about going for a run quickly before settling in.” Her voice was shaky, her breathing shallow, and she was sure her heart would burst out any moment. Pharah couldn’t bare to look Mercy in the eye.   
Mercy stopped what she was doing and rose when she finally looked at Pharah. She looked grim as she walked in front of her girlfriend. 

”Pharah, what have you taken...”   
Pharah gulped and glanced quickly at Mercy before stuttering her answer, ”I-I’m still sober and this is-” ”I asked you what have you taken?” Mercy interrupted straight away and tried to take a good look at Pharah’s pupils. The Egyptian steered her gaze away and her girlfriend groaned with frustration. ”Pharah! For heaven’s sake, I’m not kidding with this. You could be in danger. I do not care about the other things right now.”   
Pharah could hardly stay on her feet. She bit her lip and mumbled her answer almost incoherently. Mercy got even more serious and grabbed the bigger woman’s hand, leading them to the bathroom where she made Pharah sit down. ”How reckless and thoughtless can one woman be,” Mercy mumbled under her breath as she started to rummage through her medicine box. Pharah was starting to feel physically ill the more time went by.   
Mercy noticed how bad Pharah was feeling so she kept her words to herself for now. She continued to bury herself in to the medicine basket. ”How much?” She asked quietly and made sure that Pharah was still conscious. ”Uh... a handful or two?” Mercy groaned again at the Egyptian’s answer. 

Finally Mercy grabbed a bottle, read the label and took three pills and shoved them at Pharah. ”Take those. If you are lucky, they will help and I don’t have to call an ambulance.” The dark haired woman nodded apathetically and did as she was told to. Everything was blurry and her chest was hurting. Emotionally and physically. 

Mercy monitored Pharah hours after the medicine to make sure it was working. She sat next to her girlfriend in the bed and the silence creeped in all around the room. Pharah was too tired and ashamed to even say anything, and Mercy was too angry. Silence tried to patch things up as well as it could. 

”Why caffeine pills? Did you try to kill yourself?” Mercy asked slowly, the words bitter in her mouth and the fear of the answer inside. Pharah shivered and turned herself to face Mercy’s back. ”I thought it would make me do better at practice... I didn’t want to kill myself, Mercy... I was just...” ”Reckless?” Mercy spat the word out and turned to look at Pharah. This time tears had filled the florist’s eyes and for the first time during their time together she was angry. And sad.   
”You didn’t even stop to think what might happen, didn’t you? You just... went on and hurt yourself like that. It... makes me angry...” Mercy groaned and rubbed her forehead. Pharah couldn’t say a word. She didn’t know what she could do or say that would make it okay. And even though Mercy was angry, she knew that she was selfish with it. She didn’t want to lose Pharah.   
Pharah took a deep breath and managed to get out of bed. Slowly she started to get dressed and Mercy tilted her head tiredly. ”Where are you going?” She asked quietly, her voice filled with various emotions but anger kept away for a while. ”Out. I need time to think,” Pharah stated briefly. ”I should be okay, yes? The medicine slowed my heartbeat, didn’t it?” Mercy could only nod. She wasn’t strong enough to stop Pharah. 

Pharah dealed with her emotions the way she best knew how. After one bottle of liquor and six shots she felt even more terrible than earlier. Drinking didn’t feel as good as it used to. ”I need to quit this shit,” she mumbled to herself, ordering another shot of vodka. ”This whole thing,” she continued and the bartender really tried to listen to the poor woman. ”Maybe we should call your sponsor?” The calm, understanding Nepal man tried but Pharah just swung her hand in the air. ”No! I meant the exercise! It must come to an end... and drinking... ugh, I’m such a hopeless girlfriend...”   
Zenyatta sighed but smiled gently. This was definitely not the first time he had a conversation with drunken Pharah. But maybe it would be the last. ”It seems that you care about yourself a bit more now that you are with her,” he stated softly and poured some water for Pharah. The woman groaned and snickered grimly. ”Yeah, and what do I do? Almost kill myself with caffeine overdose and then run away to drink my soberity away.”   
Zenyatta leaned against the counter and smiled again, this time trying to get through Pharah’s hard shell. ”I think you need to talk things through. She might be angry but what is the primary feeling behind that? And you need to go through what lead to your overdose. These things usually happen because we have something buried under the secondary feelings.” He looked at his phone and didn’t let Pharah argue with him, ”I will call her and tell her you are here. You can go home together.”   
Pharah stared at Zenyatta and let out another series of voices that tried to reflect her feelings. ”I’m drunk... she will be even more angry at me Zenyatta... don’t call her.” The man lifted a brow and chuckled warmly, ”don’t worry, I texted...” Pharah almost choked at her drink. She looked genuinely panicking and distressed. ”H-how did you even have her number? Please tell me you’re joking, I’m... I’m not ready to see how disappointed she is...”   
Zenyatta took a deep breath and tilted his head. He stared at Pharah until she was done panicking out loud. Then the man made a calming hand gesture and gave the stressed woman some chocolate to eat, ”As much as she has to trust you, you just have to trust her to be able to talk. She will come, trust me. And it won’t be the end of you two.” 

Mercy arrived faster than Zenyatta or Pharah could think of. She was still in her dirt soiled clothes and she had Pharah’s big baseball jacket on. Her hair was wet from the rain and she was panting from the running she had done. As soon as the two bar-dwellers had noticed the woman they straightened their backs and seemed more sharp. Zenyatta smiled at Mercy and patted Pharah’s shoulder. ”Go talk to her. You are shocked enough to not be too drunk.”   
Pharah made her way to Mercy and stared at the older woman quietly. The blonde was catching her breath as she examined the taller woman with her eyes. ”Are... are you okay?” She managed to ask. At the same time she lifted her hand to Pharah’s cheek. The Egyptian shivered and pressed her head against the hand, nodding and whispering with tears in her eyes, ”Y-yes... I’m sorry... I’m drunk.. and a disaster, and...” Mercy shook her head and pressed a finger against Pharah’s lips. ”Let’s go for a walk, okay?” The florist’s voice was thin and she wasn’t far from crying again. 

Even though it was raining, it didn’t matter to the two of them. For a while they just walked, every speck of their being getting wet and teary. Finally it was Pharah who opened her mouth to talk. ”It would have been the anniversary of me and my ex... today.” Mercy looked at her girlfriend, surprised. Then she let the woman continue talking.   
”I just... got scared. And I wanted to do something reckless to see if I’m really alive. And I honestly didn’t think.” Pharah glanced at Mercy and hurried to continue, ”I-I really think that our relationship is a good thing, I’m just... wounded, I guess.” The florist nodded and smiled warmly. ”I understand,” she mumbled and took Pharah’s hand and squeezed it gently. ”I guess I was more scared than angry myself. It felt like I just got closer to you and I almost lost it.”   
Pharah was feeling warmer by the second, thanks to Mercy. The athlete stumbled a little closer to the florist and placed a very careful kiss on top of her blonde hair. ”I... have decided to go to therapy... for the impulsiveness and addictions. And I will continue the 12-step program.” Mercy pressed her head against Pharah’s shoulder and made a soft humm. ”I know you will do well... I’m proud of you, love...” 

”Are you still angry at me,” Pharah asked when they finally got inside. She wanted to be sure. Mercy put the wet baseball jacket to the drier and pulled her girlfriend to the warm bathroom with her to take off their clothes. ”I am upset about what happened but I’m not angry at you,” Mercy answered and smiled tiredly. She quickly took off Pharah’s top and caressed the revealed skin gently, before pulling the woman into a soft hug.   
Pharah let out a quiet yelp as she felt Mercy press against her. She smiled faintly and brushed the golden hair. ”You must have been scared,” she whispered and Mercy nodded while wrapping her arms tighter around the darker skin. 

Mercy let the warm water make her sore muscles sing harmonies. She pressed against Pharah and traced her fingers across the scars Pharah had from the first time they met. The Egyptian shivered from the touch and slowly caressed the bare back of the smaller woman.   
”It’s like we just met,” Mercy laughed and placed a kiss on Pharah’s collar bone. ”But it also feels like we’ve known for ages,” Pharah continued and they both smiled. The florist took the athlete’s hand and kissed the fingertips affectionately. It made the younger woman flustered as always, and Mercy knew it. ”You are cute,” she stated and reached to kiss the woman softly. Pharah gasped into the kiss, still not used to the closeness they had. She slowly melted into it, wrapping her arm around Mercy and running her fingers through the blonde hair. Mercy let out a small noise and brushed her lips against Pharah’s, enjoying every moment she could get. 

They both had a feeling that things would improve after that day.


	10. New direction

Pharah couldn’t help herself as she stared at sleeping Mercy. She was aching all over but a mellow caress of feeling was nurturing her. She was feeling content right there, next to the blonde florist. Pharah shifted on the mattress so that she could pull the woman closer to herself, hoping that she wouldn’t wake her up by doing so. And when she felt the warm body against hers, she let her guards down and nuzzled her nose against Mercy’s neck. 

Mercy could feel herself getting moved but that yet didn’t make her stop dreaming the dream she was seeing. Pharah’s nose on her neck did however pull her back to reality, and as she opened her eyes she chuckled sleepily, ”nice to see that you are next to me when I wake up.”   
Pharah let out a small hum and cuddled closer, making sure that she was careful and tender with her touch. ”I’m trying,” she whispered and planted a promising kiss on to Mercy’s neck. The florist purred softly and ran her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair, continuing the trail down the back and finally resting her hands on the athlete’s hips. ”I know you are,” Mercy said, her thoughts refusing to wander off to the day before. She wanted to enjoy the moment. 

Mercy had to get ready for her job so she reluctantly let go of Pharah and started doing her morning routines. The Egyptian helped with the breakfast, but was surprisingly quiet while doing so. It made Mercy wonder if the woman was still feeling bad about their fight yesterday.   
”You are quiet,” Mercy stated and put down two mugs, filling the other with bitter coffee and the other with decaf tea. Pharah thanked faintly and lifted her leg to the chair, wrapping her arms around it and resting her chin against the knee. She smiled still, a soft and tired expression with lots of feelings hidden behind.   
”Do you know why I asked you to call me Pharah?” Pharah asked, making Mercy look puzzled and quite lost. ”I thought you liked it more,” the florist said, ”but I guess you are going to tell me the reason now?” Pharah chuckled and nodded, ”It was just me trying to distance myself from you. Pharah is the nickname I use everywhere. My shell... You know the deal. So uhh... Fareeha is more... personal.” 

”Fareeha Amari.” Mercy’s voice was sultry, it made Fareeha flustered, but at the same time it was silky, mellow like the epitome of comfort. The athlete looked at the blonde with flushed expression, her eyes asking the woman to continue. ”Are you okay with me calling you Fareeha?” Mercy made sure and moved to wrap her arms around the strong shoulders of her girlfriend. Fareeha could only nod. There were no words for the moment, not a single thing she could say to express how happy she was hearing her name from those beautiful lips.   
”Angela Ziegler,” Mercy exclaimed suddenly, taking Fareeha’s hand and kissing it gently. ”My real name. Mercy was just something I use with the business... so... you can use my real name if you want to.” Fareeha turned her head a bit so that she could see the blushing Mercy better. She reached her hand to caress the pale cheek, her expression turning into a soothing smile. ”Angela,” Fareeha tasted the name on her lips and chuckled. It fit the florist even better. Angela Ziegler and Fareeha Amari. Two lovers. 

Angela was face first into a big pot of dirt when Fareeha came downstairs to the shop. ”Are you trying to fertilize your whole body, Angela?” The dark haired woman asked jokingly, making Angela laugh sarcastically from the ceramic trap she was in. ”Very funny love, if I ever get out of this you will be sorry,” she stated after a few attempts of escaping the pot. Fareeha chuckled and helped her girlfriend, placing a quick kiss on the dirty forehead. ”I am so sorry,” she teased and grinned when she tasted the earthy soil on her lips. Angela smirked, but noticed then that Fareeha had her bag with her. It made the blonde on alert straight away, especially because it was the sports bag.   
Angela was so tense that even Fareeha noticed it. She looked at her girlfriend, then at her bag and hurried to explain. ”I-I’m not going to exercise! I’m going to take these to my place and then visit my sponsor.” She groaned and rubbed her shoulder. ”Listen, Ange, I know that you can’t trust me right now. But I’m trying my hardest, for me and for you.”   
Fareeha’s words made Angela sigh softly and press herself against her girlfriend. She wrapped her arms around the taller woman and made the effort to trust. ”Please get home safe, Fareeha... I will be waiting.” 

Angela’s nervousness made her work sloppy at best but somehow she managed the whole day. For her relief Fareeha texted her from time to time and all seemed well, though it didn’t take the worry all the way out the door. Angela hated it. She hated the fact that she was falling in love. That she was now vulnerable. She also cherished every moment spent together with Fareeha. The flame flickering inside of her, made of hope, trust and love, it was there and it was warm. 

When the door to her apartment finally opened and Fareeha stepped in, Angela allowed herself to breathe more freely. She nervously handled her coffee mug and waited for her girlfriend to come to the kitchen. Her heart was beating too strongly for her taste and her mouth was dry.   
As Fareeha entered the room, Angela glanced at the woman, trying to study every nook, looking for any signs of relapses. The Egyptian noticed it and sighed deeply, her demeanor falling towards shame. ”I’m sober and fine Angela,” she mumbled and walked in front of the blonde, kissing her forehead and continuing softly, ”do you think that time will heal us both?” Angela looked at Fareeha apologetically and nodded. ”I’m sure of it... and I’m glad that you are here love. I was feeling lonely.” 

Fareeha had promised to stay at Angela’s place for a while. Not that she enjoyed her time at her own apartment anyway, so the arrangement was good for the both of us. In the end, Fareeha didn’t want to leave. She felt safe there, with Angela. 

”Do you want to hear how the meeting went with my sponsor?” Fareeha asked quietly as they got cozy in the familiar bed. Angela laid her head against her lover’s chest and nodded briefly. And as Fareeha started to tell about the plans they had made, about the struggles she had, the fears and the hopes, Angela felt comfort. It seemed like the athlete had finally found something, something ground breaking, something that she could use to get the motivation to continue her rehab. It made Angela feel hope too.   
”Are you asleep Angela?” Fareeha’s voice was soft and it seriously made Angela drowsy, but not enough. ”No, I was listening... it all sounds wonderful love. I’m proud of you,” she whispered and opened her eyes, just to see tears glimmering in Fareeha’s eyes.   
Angela sat up right away and wiped the tears away worriedly. ”What’s wrong Fareeha?” She asked warmly, pulling the bigger woman closer to herself. The Egyptian sniffled and shook her head quickly, chuckling her answer, ”n-nothing really... I was just... happy... happy to have you... happy to have my life...”   
The words hit the florist hard. With no warning. Angela bit her lip and made a confused, sniffly sound, as her own tears started to suddenly escape. She took deep breaths and pressed her forehead against Fareeha’s, caressing the dark hair and trying to come up with appropriate words for her sudden burst of emotions. The day had been a roller-coaster. 

”Me too... And I’m even happier now that I know I can keep you in my life...” 

It was the start of many mornings with coffee, decaf tea, and a lot of dirt.


	11. In the end

”Happy anniversary mein Schatz!” 

The words were exclaimed in a manner that surely woke Fareeha up, which made the former football player groan and burrow under the blankets for more comfort. Then she registered the words and peeked at Angela from under the blankets.   
”I believe our two year anniversary is in two weeks, not today?” Fareeha mumbled sleepily and contemplated on leaving the bed. Mercy was standing there next to it in her shorts and a white tank top, looking as fine as ever. She tilted her head and promptly swiped the blanket off, swinging a small badge on her hands.   
”Yes, I do know the dates love... this is your one year anniversary of sobriety.” Angela announced the fact proudly and offered the badge at Fareeha, who looked baffled and seemingly flustered. ”R-really?” ”Of course, silly...” Angela chuckled and sat to the bed, pulling her girlfriend closer and kissing her tenderly. It had been a rough year before the sobriety but every moment had been a blessing. 

”Does this mean we could maybe celebrate our two year anniversary today too?” Fareeha asked eagerly as she got her clothes finally somewhat on. Angela was on her laptop, waiting for the Egyptian to get ready. She lifted a brow and shook her head adamantly. ”Absolutely not. I have plans for that day. No cheating on the dates, mein Schatz...” Fareeha let out a soft groan but grinned at her girlfriend lovingly. She was getting used to the ”no backseat gaming” aspect on everything in their lives. 

After Fareeha finally managed to get her morning routines going on, Angela was already done with half of them. The breakfast was served and tea was waiting for the sleepy Amari to arrive. After almost two years Angela had learned that Fareeha did not wake up easily, and even though they both had no idea what to do in the kitchen, breakfast was best when she did it. 

”Could you help out with the flowers today?” Angela asked while pouring more coffee for her favorite mug, the older favorite got broken and Fareeha got her a new one. This mug was black with white lilies painted on it. Fareeha stole a quick kiss from her girlfriend before voicing her approval. She was coaching young children on soccer as a part of her rehab but she had days off, so helping Angela was easy. And after some time had passes she even started to learn something about flowers. And the more she fell in love with Angela, the more she fell in love with flora. 

”I have a present for you by the way,” Angela stated as they cleaned what was left of the breakfast. Fareeha lifted a brow as she placed the coffee grounds in the machine for the next load. ”A present? For my sobriety?” Angela nodded and brushed Fareeha’s hand softly, just to show affection and love. Even though they now lived together, they still had a lot of intimacy in their relationship.   
”Well?” Fareeha asked teasingly and pulled Angela into a soft embrace, trying to get the information out of the florist by attacking mercilessly with cuddles. The older woman laughed and surrendered herself into the strong arms, nuzzling her nose against Fareeha’s neck. ”I’m not telling yet, my love... you need to wait a bit.” The former athlete groaned and run her fingers through Angela’s hair. ”Are you sure... because I can torture you more with my kisses?” Angela giggled at the threat and rolled her eyes, ”flower shop. Work. Now, miss Amari, my beautiful girlfriend.” 

Sobriety and freedom from obsessive exercise did not come easily. First came letting go of the constant moving. It resulted in binge drinking and many lost badges. Angela was very supportive, even when Fareeha often kept her 7 days sober badge for days before losing it again. It took a year before she finally got the therapist she clicked with, and a medication to help with her depression. And slowly Fareeha got her health back too, and was able to start moderately to run again. 

The memories of her journey made Fareeha’s work day fly by quickly. There were so many good memories mixed with the bad ones. Even when she was throwing up bile, there was the good memory of Angela helping her up and keeping her company when she was scared. Those days when the withdrawals made her feel like dying and the florist held her tight, not letting go.   
”Fareeha, are you listening to me?” Angela’s voice pulled Fareeha back into that moment. She blinked and turned to her girlfriend, smirking faintly, ”you should know by now that I daydream a lot...” Angela rolled her eyes and laughed at the statement. It was true, and she loved Fareeha when she looked so dreamy.   
Angela took a small bag from behind her back and smiled softly, ”your present. Please, put it on.” Fareeha lifted a brow, slightly confused. Did she get a t-shirt for a present? She took the bag and left to their apartment to change it, not really knowing what to expect. 

Fareeha walked back downstairs, wearing the black t-shirt that Angela had given. ”Dirt filled heart?” She asked the florist, who just nodded and laughed whole heartedly. ”Well, you ARE a florist’s girlfriend? And I’m more of a dirt person than a flower person.”   
Fareeha laughed too, because the explanation made perfect sense to the two of them. Yes, her heart was indeed dirt filled, all thanks to her love towards Angela. Rich soil that was the base for things to grow out of it. Something that gives life. 

Fareeha took Angela’s hand to her own, intertwining their fingers and pulling the florist closer. She took time to just admire the blonde, still remembering the days when she was a bit embarrassed of the closeness. 

”I love you, Ange,” Fareeha whispered and leaned in for a longing kiss, swearing that she would cherish every moment between the two of them. 

”I love you too, Fareeha,” Angela said softly as they parted, still feeling the warmth of Fareeha’s body. It had been months and months since she last had to worry about waking up alone. 

When Angela had saved Fareeha the first time, she never had thought it would end up with their hearts tied together. 

Dirt filled heart that grew the flowers of safety and support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfiction that I have written from start to finish! I'm super proud of this and I'm inspired to make more fics and continue the ones that haven't been completed yet. Thank you for reading this, hope you enjoyed!


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